The more, the emptier: when your friend count really means nothing

“Selfies are for people who are so bored and can’t even rely on one of their 10K friends on Facebook to take the photo for them. Hell of a group of friends you got there…”

Let’s stop pretending for a moment that you connect with all of your 10K friends on Facebook. Though it seems uplifting having that many friends (I call them random people I met at the coffee shop), how many of those friends do you actually see on a regular basis? How many of those friends know what breed of dog you have? How many of those friends know about your allergies? Or where you went to high school? You are possibly muttering under your breath, “but these are merely surface questions”.

I hear you.

So how many of your 10K friends were literally by your side when all other so-called friends have abandoned you? How many of your 10K friends were literally sitting across the table from you holding your hand when you went through that nasty separation? How many of your 10K friends racked up a huge phone bill to call you to make sure, that despite everything you’ve been dealt with, that you’re doing ok? How many of your 10K friends would know something is wrong just by merely listening to you or looking at you? And I don’t mean looking at your pouty, half-naked car selfie on Facebook. In that case, a real friend would be concerned that there really IS something wrong with this picture…

Truth is, real friends just know. There’s absolutely no need to “like”, “comment” or “post status hints” for them to respond. And I say this from experience. I am a very difficult person to hang on to but only a select few friends understand. Why? Because we all made the effort to connect, to empathise, to comprehend, and to just be there. Yes, we may be swamped with the usual suspects such as work, family, personal battles and even “growing up”. But you know real friends will go beyond the measly “hope ur well babe xoxo” comment on Facebook. Friends don’t rip you apart behind your back either. They’re there when you need them. And you know full well in your heart that they’re there even if you don’t need them. And that is the very essence of friendship. It’s not something you achieve from sporadic Facebook likes and sickeningly sweet-ass phony comments. And certainly not from the huge amount of friends on your list…

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